Mother's Day

I think I literally have the best mother in the world. She is so silly and we have so much fun together! We had a great time spending the day together one day watching Safe Haven (totally recommend that movie by the way) and just talking. I love just talking with her about anything! Work, friends, Blake... etc. 

Lately it is hitting me that I am leaving her for a year and a half. How will I function without her? I need to hear her singing the wrong words to songs and dancing all the time and thinking that Spain is a part of Mexico. She makes me laugh. 

For Mother's Day weekend, I was nannying for a great family in my ward. For SIX kids! That is how many my mom has! I got three days to realize just how hard it is to be a mother, although they say it is easier because you go one kid at a time. I got the teenagers to the toddlers, and also a baby. It was such hard work! I cannot believe that mothers do that all day every day. It made me so grateful for my mom and every thing she has done for me. I love her so much. I'm so glad she put up with us kids for all these years, and to think she will be an empty nester in a month and a half! I love her.

Also! Mother's Day means MISSIONARY PHONE CALLS! I got to hear from my little brother, he is doing so good. It was great to hear from him. I wish I had a picture of us all talking.

Then I hopped on over to the Sondereggers to talk to Blake! We didn't even even know when he was calling so we waited all night basically. Then finally he got on skype! We got to see him! He looks so good and adorable! But the thing is, we couldn't hear him... He could hear us, but we couldn't hear him. It was so sad. Then after 20 minutes he mouthed, "One second, we will try and fix this." So he hung up and we waited for him to fix the sound. Eventually, like an hour later, he just called, no skype. It was so wonderful though. I love him so much. It was amazing to hear about his Philippine adventures.

Skyping little Blakey! 

Shenanigans!

Today, I was bored. I texted my friend Joshua (Sunny)  Johnson. And maaan! We had a fun day. We went to the new mall place called Station Park and we decided we wanted to make people look at us uncomfortably. It was the best. We went to Harmons and followed the workers and said weird conversations loudly. This guy was stocking the apples in the store and Sunny and I argued loudly about which apples are best. The worker was secretly snickering at us. Then when he was done he half smiled at us and asked if we needed help. We said no thanks we are just looking. Then we went to this hipster worker who was stalking juices and yogurt and pudding and we were so funny. We were there for a half hour "debating" on what we should get for a party for a ton of people. We tried to be as annoying as possible. Probably the funniest day of my life. I wish I could describe it better, the way I type it, it sounds so lame, but honestly, it is the funniest thing ever.
Next, we bought five dollar speakers from Ross and sat on a bench outside blasting our awesome hipster music and nodding our heads like it was the best thing ever. People gave us the best looks. We sat there in the ninety degree heat nodding our heads to the great tunes.

Hahaha we seriously think we are so cool and hilarious. We really are. I will for sure have to do more weird stuff like this. It is so fun to see how people react to weird people. Hiliarious. 

I Need a Life

Hello again. As the end of the day draws near, I think back to myself and say, "What the crap is wrong with me!" I literally did nothing today. I watched some netflix, I went back and forth on Pinterest and Facebook all day, I watched TV. It makes me wonder how I am going to survive in the mission field in two months. I have two months to get rid of this awful laziness streak! As I think about this more and more, the more pathetic I seem to myself.
Yes, I have great friends! We do stuff all of the time! I go to church, I read my scriptures, I work a lot! But when I find myself alone with a lot of free time, I am just so lazy. Why can't I entertain myself as I did when I was a kid? I would write stories and poems, I would read, I would sew, and now I just sit here on my bed on my computer doing, basically nothing. It makes me sick.
As the night grew later and later I became even more pathetic and started talking to my cat. Just about life in general and how I need to shape up and get ready for my mission, and about how much I miss my boyfriend, and about the show I was watching. And then it gets even more embarrassing. My cat left me, and I literally was talking to myself. It was awful.
So, realizing how lonely and pathetic I really am, I have decided to set some goals, right here, right now.

Goal #1
I will not open my laptop until I have read at least 30 minutes of scriptures each day. It is better to do it before than after because guess what? I am such a loser that it sucks me in for hours then I convince myself I only have time to read a little.
Goal #2
I will do some sort of exercise each day except Sunday. I have to do this!!! I haven't for so long! I will go for bike rides, or brisk walks (haha, I really am not in good enough shape to run just yet folks), or do some yoga, or something to help my body not get fatso.
Goal #3
I will finish sewing my mission skirts by the end of May. I will work on them a little bit every day! (P.S. by sew, I mean hem and alter some skirts I've bought and the D.I., don't worry, I'm not that cool to sew all my mission skirts by scratch.)
Goal #4
I will keep my room decently clean. I mean, it doesn't have to be spotless, but would it kill me to pick up clothes once in awhile? Seriously.
Goal #5
I will write in my journal every night. I have really not written much since Blake has been gone. I feel like I should be recording this journey of us going through our missions. I will be better at writing!

Okay, I will stop at 5 goals. I don't want to overwhelm myself ya know? I will try a little harder, to be a little better.

On a side note... Blake is in the Philippines now! He left the MTC yesterday morning! I slept over at his family's house because he is allowed to call them at the airport and I didn't wanna miss it! It was so wonderful hearing his voice after six weeks! He is so happy and excited and he is doing so great! I am so proud of him!

Missin' You Like Crazy

I have been trying to write this post for two weeks. Two weeks! I have gotten on here to write, and nothing has come to me. It is hard to think of what to write, and I didn’t want to put it off any longer because Blake has been gone for two weeks. My other half. My darling, darling boyfriend. I am so proud of him. He has been doing so well in the MTC so far. I’ve been doing great for these two weeks. I love writing him letters and sending him stuff, and I love when I hear from him. I’ve gotten two letters so far.

I thought that when he left I would be a wreck, and I would never get dressed and would just cry at the thought of him, but this has not been the case. I cried when he got set apart as a missionary, I cried when we were saying goodbye, I cried for a little bit the next day when he told me he loved me right before entering the MTC, but other than that I just get teary eyed every once in awhile. I know what you are thinking, I am a heartless girlfriend! But I can honestly say I have been waiting for this time for so long that I am so happy that this is finally starting. I’m excited Blake gets to go on a mission, something he has been preparing for his whole life! We made it and are worthy to both be out in the mission fields, so to me it isn’t a sad thing, but it is so very exciting that we have made it this far. Yes, I miss him, to the point where I feel numb, but I am so happy that we are doing such good for ourselves and for our relationship.

I don’t wanna sound like I’m faking positivity and that my life is so hunky-dory all the time, and I feel like everyone who asks me if I’m okay with Blake being gone judge me for saying I’m actually fine and I hardly have cried think I’m a crazy person or something. For these past two (long loooong looooooooong) weeks I have been living my life, hanging out with Lauren and Ashley, working a lot, and studying the scriptures. To me these have helped me stay busy and distracted from the fact that I can’t hang out with Blake every spare second of my life, which I have been doing for the past two years. I can’t really describe how I feel. I’m happy that he is doing the work of the Lord, but I also feel, I don’t know, kind of numb. That is all I can describe it. I have been waiting for the water works to come. I have been waiting for me to feel pain and emotion from him leaving for two years. I feel bad that I am not like this, and that maybe something is wrong with me. I feel like everyone expects that of me and I don’t know why I’m not doing what any normal girl would do, which is cry all the time about this.

I have tried to cry. I look at pictures, and read my journals, and go places we used to go, and listen to sappy love songs about people missing people and eat ice cream. It just hasn’t worked for me. None of that made me cry like I feel like I needed to do. Maybe the fact that he is gone hadn’t sunk in yet. That is, until today.

Last night, I had a dream about Blake. It was a very simple dream. I dreamed that we were shopping at the Smiths grocery store, which is what we always would do all the time. Just walk around Smiths and buy random things. That is all my dream was. Just of me and him on a normal day. It woke me up at four in the morning and I sat in my bed thinking how nice that dream was, and then it hit me. Blake’s gone. I said that over and over in my head. Blake is gone. Then I finally got the tears and sobbing and crying and snot and shaking and all these emotions that I’ve bottled up for so long out of my system. I cried for what seemed like hours. It just hurt my heart that I couldn’t even call Blake and have him tell me everything was going to be okay. I just needed him to hold me.

I eventually fell back asleep on my tearstained pillow from exhaustion from my sobbing. Then when I woke up again this morning I remembered what happened and tears came again. Not as bad, but they came. All day I would get teary eyed thinking about Blake. But I am glad that happened. I’m glad I got that out of my system. I honestly felt bad for not crying so much when Blake left. Now I can say that I have, and that it has finally occurred to me that no kisses, or snuggles, or phone calls, or sweet nothings, or Blake for two loooong years. But, you know what they say… the longer the wait, the sweeter the kiss. 

Old News.

   So, Last year, on March 7, 2012, Blake got his old mission call! And THIS March 7th, I got my very own mission call! I just thought that was a very cool observation. Let me go back and tell the story better.
In the last General Conference for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, the prophet Thomas S. Monson announced to the world that they would change the missionary age for young men from nineteen to eighteen! Big shocker there! And then another huge change was the young women missionary age was from age twenty one to age nineteen! I was at the conference center when the announcement was made and it was amazing to here the thousands of gasps from the congregation. It was amazing and I am glad I was apart of that. I should note that ALL worthy young men are commanded to go on a mission, and young women may choose to go or not to go.
   Immediately after conference I got a billion texts. Okay, that is an exaggeration, but I got so many texts from my dad and mom and brothers and friends and Blake's parents all telling me to go on a mission! Because I can now! I was like "haha yeah, I'll think about it!" and stuff. It was never part of my plans.
   For weeks I got a million comments that I need to go on a mission. Talk about pressure on the girls now to go! I hated everyone telling me to go. I just graduated cosmetology and I need to start my career and I had all these awesome plans for when Blake was gone to make time go by faster. I had a life! I wasn't against going on a mission, but I definitively didn't think it was for me.
   Eventually millions of friends that are girls on facebook started posting things like, "Just started my mission papers!" "My papers are in! Guess where I'll go!" "I got my call!" "I'm called to serve in..... ". I started getting bitter and thinking things like, "They haven't even given this HUGE decision ANY thought at ALL! Just because they changed the mission age doesn't mean that it is right for you to go!" (Sorry to any of my friends with mission calls, I don't mean to be rude, but that is just what I thought then, I'm sure you've prayed about it.) I told everyone I wasn't going on a mission. I didn't even pray about it.
   Then one Saturday night I pulled out my old journals and was reading them and laughing about what a nutcase I am. Then I read this entry from 2009 (I can't find it right now for some reason or I'd write it word for word). It said something like this:  "I just got back from church and I felt the spirit so strong. Danielle Cox just came back from her mission to Virginia, and she is so amazing, her testimony has touched my heart. I want to be just like her. I would love to go on a mission."
   "Huh", I thought to myself. "If I had those feelings back then to go on a mission, maybe I should pray about this and see if that was a prompting."
  Then I prayed and prayed so hard that night. I needed to know if I should go on a mission. I prayed a lot. I remember feeling nothing, no miraculous feelings or even crying. I didn't feel any emotions at all. So I thought I had my answer. A mission just wasn't for me I guessed. I felt kind of relieved because I really didn't want to go that much. Missions just sound scary to me. I was okay with my answer. I didn't have to go. God had some other purpose for me.
  The very next day was Sunday. I walked into my single's ward and sat by my friend, Kiana. They started the meeting and guess who the speakers were? The sister missionaries! My heart leaped a little bit. The first sister got up and was speaking about how awesome missions are. I wasn't really listening to the words really, but my heart was pounding and this feeling was overwhelming me. I was holding back tears. I was thinking, "What is wrong with me? What is happening?" I tried to concentrate but I was just so excited and emotional and I was nervous. Was this the answer to my prayers the previous night? Is this what I'm supposed to do? I can't even describe what I was feeling to the fullest. It was the most wonderful and the most nerve wracking feeling.
   The second sister missionary got up and spoke. One of the first things she said was, "If you are thinking about going on a mission, JUST GO!" I couldn't contain myself after that. I told Kiana I had to go to the bathroom and hurried out of there. The tears were coming and my emotions were crazy. I felt so wonderful and at peace and so excited and nervous, all in one emotion. I knew what I had to do. I just knew it. Somewhere, someone needed me. Needed me to help them find the gospel that I so dearly love and know. How could I deny them of that?
   I didn't know what to do with my new found life plans. Who do I tell? How do I get started? I don't even have money, how will I pay? I don't know the first thing about missions! Am I going crazy? My brain was exploding with questions and thoughts all through Sunday school and relief society. I couldn't wait for church to be over so I could tell my mom and dad!
   It was snowy that day, and I got home from church first. I started shoveling the driveway as I waited for my parents to arrive. That wait was agonizing. I wanted to tell them RIGHT when I got the impression to go. They came home and I hurried them into their room and closed the door and told them I needed to tell them something.
   I could see their brains working a million miles per minute. Was there something wrong with me and Blake? Did we mess up? What could she need to tell us?
   "I have prayed and gotten my answer that I need to go on a mission," I told them.
   They were so happy. I was so happy. They hugged me and we all teared up. They told me they will help me and they have. I immediately called to make an appointment with my bishop.

                                        Long story short.... I got my mission call!!!!

I am called to serve in the England London Mission! I report to the England MTC on June 27th!

I am so excited for this. I cannot wait until June! I am also very scared. Scared out of my mind. But other people have done it, so so can I! I thank Heavenly Father for blessing me with this opportunity to share the gospel along with my best friend Blake. We will do great things as we are apart for two years. We will be apart, but growing together. I truly believe this is what is supposed to happen in my life. I cannot wait to go serve the English people! 

The Day We've All Been Waiting For.

On March 6th 2012, my boyfriend, Blake, got a mission call to the Philippines Naga Mission! How exciting! He was set to leave on July 18th 2012. It was a five month long wait for him to leave and I thought that would KILL me waiting for him to leave for that long, because I hear that the wait for "the wait" is the worst part. So along came April and May, and then in June we got the unfortunate news from Blake's bishop that his mission call needs to be moved three months back. We were heartbroken. We thought we had taken care of things back a long time ago, but apparently not. Then like a week or two later, his bishop decided that he will just take away Blake's entire call and then told Blake to start his mission papers all over again in December!

 So my five month wait for "the wait" had become nine plus months! Almost a whole year! I went through so so many emotions from anger to sadness to guilt and the whole emotion spectrum! I even wanted to just forget the whole mission thing and just get married sometimes... which would have been stupid, but I was acting out and being ridiculous. My mom said that I wouldn't be able to see Blake as much as I want because "what if we mess up in this long amount of time?" and all this stuff. I was furious. I can see Blake whenever I wanna see Blake! So I called my friend Lauren up and she immediately dropped everything and took me for a drive and we talked everything out. She has her boyfriend out on a mission, so she sort of understands the situation. She told me if I needed to, her house had a spare bedroom I could move into if I wanted. So I did. I did it more so that it would be fun to do and I did have so much fun! I love that family so much. I stayed there for about three months.

So fast forward all these months of fun and being with Blake and growing so much closer to him and knowing more and more that I would love to be with him for eternity, December finally came. The month for him to start on some papers! And it just so happens that not so long ago he got a brand new bishop, so that bishop wasn't so on top of things with Blake's situation as his last one was, plus he was new and just getting used to the "bishop" role. So December went by and then in January, Blake started his mission papers all over again. He got done with them on January 19th or somewhere around there. They were all submitted and we were just waiting for the call! Exciting! We fasted and prayed our little hearts out that Blake would be content with where he goes (because he so badly wanted the Philippines Naga Mission. He was so set on it, and he would always talk about going there and it would break my little heart to hear him hope so bad for it, because odds are, getting called to the same mission is really slim.). And fasting and praying so badly that we wouldn't have a long wait again. We are both done with this waiting thing. We just want him gone on his mission!

So mission calls usually come on Wednesdays. The first Wednesday rolled along by with no mission call... then the second came and went with no mission call. I was quite literally going insane wondering where my sweetheart would be called to for two years of our lives! Then the third Wednesday came, the one we were SURE he would get his call on, and yet no call again. My heart was dying. I couldn't take not knowing anymore. After everything we'd been through why did we have to wait a month for his call to come? Just sitting here waiting for it?

Then on Friday, Blake's bishop texted Blake saying that his call had been assigned! So this time for sure it would come on Wednesday! My heart had hope again! I could wait till Wednesday couldn't I? Then yesterday, a SATURDAY, Blake called me and told me his call came today. WHAT IN THE WORLD?  I was screaming and jumping up and down and running all around my house and asking if he was joking and thinking this would be an awful joke if it was a joke. I was going so crazy! It was here! The moment we've been waiting for! 

After we hung up I needed to shower and get all dolled up and go over there to be with him! I turned on the shower and then it hit me. This was real. Blake was going to be leaving. For two whole years. I melted onto the floor and sobbed and sobbed. As I was sobbing I thanked my dear Heavenly Father for Blake and that his call had finally come. I prayed that Blake would be content with where he would be going and when he would be going. I then prayed the same for me. For me to be content with this whole thing.

I then got myself together at my house, shaking while doing my hair and makeup. The whole thing was so scary. I would finally know. I hadn't been expecting this. And also, why in the world would it come on a Saturday? They only assigned his call the day before! What if he would leave in a week? I was a wreck. I finally got myself together and drove to his house as fast as I could, with a prayer in my heart that everything would be okay. 

The Sonderegger house was abuzz! Everyone walking around and writing guesses to where he would be going. Memories of the last time this happened flooded to my mind. I had gotten to know Blake so much more by now. I know that I love him. This time is more scary because I know him more than the last time. Maybe we needed this year together so that I would know that I should wait for him, to know that I WANT to wait for him. Maybe everything that has happened to us, truly happened for a reason. 

Here he is! The anticipation is killing us at this point!

We were waiting for my mom and dad to come over, because they wanted to be there while he opened his call. They got there and my mom and dad go and hold the call and make their guesses. Then the time came where we were just like OPEN IT NOW!

He had to use the biggest knife in the house to open it. BOYS! 

He paused before reading it out loud. He knew before he read it where he was going! He got a huge smile on his face and started reading:

Dear Elder Sonderegger,

This letter is to confirm that you have been reinstated as a full-time missionary. You have been assigned to the Philippines Naga Mission as a Tagalog-speaking missionary. You should report to the Provo MTC on March 13 2012.

We appreciate your willingness to accept this assignment, and are confident that you will be able to successfully fulfill this new calling.

Sincerely,

Thomas S. Monson. 

Then the excitement kicks in! HE GETS TO GO WHERE HE HAS HAD HIS HEART SET ON FOR A YEAR! And he leaves in one month! ONE MONTH???!!!??? Surprisingly I did not cry. I just smiled a lot and watched everyone react. I felt content. My Heavenly Father helped me feel perfectly content that this is all according to HIS plan. Not Blake's, not mine, but His. I couldn't be more happy for my sweetheart. 

His old mission call from a year ago, to his new one. 

I love Blake and I'm so proud of him.

Cosmetology Graduation!

Back in August I finished my 2,000 hours in cosmetology and all I had to do was take the State Boards tests then get an exit interview with the head instructor then I would have my license and be outta there! But due to me being lazy and scared to do the State Boards I didn't take them until October and I passed! I was so excited and relieved! Then I go to the school to get things situated and I find out that the school requires I take a state board practice test and pass with an 80%... even though I passed them just fine without it! So I go in and take it, thinking I would do alright considering I already passed the state tests. It turns out it is the hardest test to pass, and not only is it hard, the test is different every single time you take it, so you literally have no clue what to study for! I only got 71% that first time I had to take it. Anyways, after taking that test a hundred times I finally passed with an 83% Whoo hoo!!!!!
So I go in the next day (on Thursday) I go in for the exit interview and the instructors inform me that I am, "just 46 hours short of 2,000." OH OKAY! Just 46 hours is all? haha they acted like it wasn't a big deal. So anyway I just asked them to show me where they got that number from and for them to count up all the hours right in front of me, because HOW can I be off by 46 hours? So anyways, they ended up with 3 hours I had to do, so I did those last agonizing 3 hours that night then scheduled for an exit interview for Friday.
I went in on Friday and had the interview and signed lots of papers and paid money to exit the program (what the crap?) and then got a picture and got sang to (so embarrassing because I don't know any of the girls there now because I haven't been since August!) and then chatted with my sweet darling shampoo set lady Joyce, who came to me faithfully every Friday.Then I mailed some stuff to Salt Lake and paid $60.00 to get my cosmetology license mailed to me, and now I can officially say I am Kim, a cosmetologist. Man, doesn't that sound wonderful???
I am so excited to start up my career and do hair full time and quit Subway. I am so excited for this new chapter in my life. It is about time I got myself graduated!

How adorable is this? Hahaha 

Then in celebration Blake took me to Ihop because my interview was in the morning and we were so hungry for breakfast.

Back in the beginning of our friendship! I love this girl! We've been though lots together, and I would just like to give her a shout out for her graduation next Friday! congrats! 

Classic cosmo school pose with our dolls. Which one is real? ;)

Love Courtney and Jess!!!! They made my schooling bearable...

Missy and I deep conditioning our hair together. I miss this girl! She got married then I never saw her again! ;)

Mariah started with me. She finished so so fast though! She is so hilarious.

Well, not that I didn't enjoy cosmetology school, I just really really really won't miss it and all the hoops they make us jump through. So Adios DATC! I won't miss you!